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Saying 'No' To Your Children Is Good For Them. International Business Times, Interview with Georgina Manning

1/5/2020

18 Comments

 
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Most parents want to give their kids everything they want in life. But according to parenting experts, saying “yes” to every demand that your children make may not be the right approach when it comes to instilling the right values in them.

Traversing the journey of becoming an assertive parent from a passive one can often be hard, especially for those who remain busy with work for the most part of the day, and do not get time to spend with their young ones. So naturally, when such a parent comes back home only to find their kid throwing tantrums, the easier option is to succumb to the demands.

Whatever be the reason, it has been observed that modern parents find it harder to say “no” to their children. “I think the pendulum has swung completely another way from parenting 30 or 40 years ago.  It has swung from an authoritarian parenting style to a permissive parenting style,” Georgina Manning, the Director of Wellbeing For Kids — an organization based in Melbourne, Australia, that helps parents reach social and emotional business outcomes — told the International Business Times.

“This has been partly due to the self-esteem movement and also the wellbeing message that has been hijacked to a certain extent," she added. "Somewhere in the middle of these two extremes is a more effective way where parents are still in charge but also emotionally tuned in and supportive of our children, where we can be present and involved in our children's lives but also teach limits and positive values.”

Manning also underlined that no matter how difficult parents may find it to deny their children their immediate wishes, it is important for the kids to hear the word "no." 

“Children need to feel a range of emotions and it is important we don't shield our child from these,” she said. “We want children to become comfortable with the uncomfortable over time. Children don't suddenly learn about feeling a range of emotions or handling strong emotions at 18 — we need our kids to learn about their emotions from a young age and be coached in how to manage these feelings over time.”

Delayed gratification, as a life skill, is often taken for granted and parents today assume their children learn about earning what they get in life as they grow up.

“As adults, we have to wait for things and work hard for rewards,” Manning told the IBT. “Teaching children to wait for what they want and they may not always get what they want are lessons best learned early. Having a false sense of how the world works is setting our kids up for failure. We are also at risk of developing entitlement in children if they get what they want when they want.  As adults, we would not be able to hold down a job or have healthy deep relationships with an entitled attitude such as this.”
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According to Bea Marshall, a parenting coach based in the United Kingdom, contrary to the popular belief and the negative notion attached to the word “no,” it actually does not end up lowering self-esteem in children, when spoken by parents in a limited manner.

18 Comments
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It’s important that you’re able to say 'no' to your children and to let them know you’re not interested in becoming involved with them. If you’re going to be involved with your children, it’s important that you’re able to say 'no' to them and be able to let them know that you’re not interested in becoming involved with them. A lot of people are afraid to say 'no' to their kids because they don’t want to risk losing the relationship that they have with them.

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Manning also underlined that no matter how difficult parents may find it to deny their children their immediate wishes, it is important for the kids to hear the word "no."

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5/6/2023 01:58:30 am

Manning's point about the importance of saying "no" to children is a crucial aspect of parenting. While it may be tempting to give in to a child's immediate wants and desires, it's important to remember that teaching children boundaries and self-control is an essential part of their development.

Saying "no" to a child can be difficult, especially when they are upset or throwing a tantrum. However, by consistently setting limits and enforcing boundaries, parents can help their children learn important life skills such as delayed gratification, self-discipline, and decision-making.

Furthermore, saying "no" can also be a way of showing love and care for our children. By setting boundaries and saying "no" when necessary, parents can help protect their children from potential harm or danger.

Of course, it's important to balance saying "no" with positive reinforcement and encouragement for good behavior. By doing so, parents can help create a safe and supportive environment for their children to grow and thrive in.

https://moreparenting.com/

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In an interview with International Business Times, Georgina Manning, a parenting expert, argues that saying "no" to children is good for their development. She explains that when parents always say "yes" to their children, they may be inadvertently teaching them entitlement and a lack of respect for boundaries. Saying "no" also teaches children important life skills such as self-discipline, empathy, and delayed gratification.

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